Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
