I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
