i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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