I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
only if we run a train.
done.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize