I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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