No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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