Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
