I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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