i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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