I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
