the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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