Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
