Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ketchup is God's man juice
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
