Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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