Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
