guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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