So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize