Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
