I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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