There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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