my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize