Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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