its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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