I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
