how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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