have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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