Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
