To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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