I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
