He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
