i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
honey bunches of taint.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
