question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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