10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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