Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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