i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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