we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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