I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
