I wish i was in the wii world.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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