the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
