What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
