Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize