Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
