Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
