Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
