Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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