my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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