I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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