we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
