it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
