i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize