Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
