butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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