i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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