I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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