Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
