...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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