just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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