He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize